Recipient: Josh

"Live! Breaking right now, this is News 6, getting results with Bob and Nancy!" Bob: "Welcome to the morning news and Merry Christmas to everyone! Our main story this morning is the follow up to Epcot's surprising, not to say controversial announcement last week." Nancy: "You said it Bob, for those who need a reminder, Disney's Epcot amusement park announced they would be purchasing nearby rival park Universal Studio's roller coaster 'Velocicoaster'." Bob: "How about that? Just straight up buying the whole thing huh? I've heard of parks buying smaller modular coasters, but something this big, that just seems crazy!" Nancy: "That's right, this is truly an unprecedented move, both figuratively and literally. The award-winning ride was bought for a staggering $300,000,000, and I don't know about you Bob, but I don't see how they can ever make it work financially." Bob: "Wow. So, they bought only a week ago, and just last night they already began moving the thing. But they ran into quite a bit more trouble than they'd expected, I heard." Nancy: "Yes! It turns out CSO was used in the ride's supports and track, and while that may be fine in Universal's park, Disney has a strict NSCO policy." Bob: "CSO of course refers to "Cocaine Sound Obfuscation". Coaster Supports are hollow, making them just, you know, really loud as the train rushes over. So parks often fill them with stuff like sand, but one substance has the ideal density for muffling the sound, and that just so happens to be cocaine." Nancy: "Cocaine in coaster supports, who could've guessed huh? No wonder those things cost so much." Bob: "Universal Studios is fine with having tons of cocaine in their park, but Disney doesn't want the stuff. During transport it all fell out, coating the entire area in a white layer, almost like it snowed!" Nancy: "Some may call it a Christmas Miracle!" Bob: "Haha, oh Nancy. Either way, Velocicoater is expected to open in Epcot next January. Now, if you don't mind, I'm.. eh.. I'm going outside for a.. eh.. a walk, yeah. Bob, out!"