CREDITS
Immortal_Cactus: project direction, shoestringing, roller coasters, innovation LowpolySurf: scenery, architecture, art direction
Awebud: additional rides, architecture, guest scenes
OVERVIEW
The legacy of Whispering Cliffs lingered in the community long after it closed. When the Depression claimed the park, rides slowly disappeared from the coastline - having been either sold or demolished - leaving the park’s scenic railway Heirloom Express, and the
unusual observation ride Seabird as its final remnants. As time passed the park property ended up in the ownership of the local government, and its original walkways were incorporated into public trails that lead hikers across the region’s scenic cliffs.
The two rides sat abandoned for decades as entrepreneurs came and went, proposing all sorts of tourism-boosting ventures that never panned out. So, too, did historical groups come and go with numerous plans to refurbish these historic rides. Unfortunately all these groups lacked the funding necessary to reverse the years of neglect that separated the present from the last rides people took.
It seemed like their demolition was inevitable due to safety concerns, when an unlikely buyer appeared. Former supervillain and otherwise controversial political figure Dr. Chaos bought the rides and a sizable chunk of land adjacent. The dying old man quickly announced plans to create a new cliffside park designed in the spirit of the original Whispering Cliffs, while also incorporating rides with advanced mechanisms that he, himself, invented during his career as a criminal mastermind.
While he had the money and technical knowhow, Dr. Chaos had no experience running an amusement park, so he turned to the Ministry of G-Forces to help realize his vision. This partnership did not begin smoothly, however. Many within the Ministry had their hangups about working with Dr. Chaos, and some outright refused (Dr. Chaos killed a lot of people), but a small group within their ranks was willing to take on the project so they could closely observe the man’s divine mechanical knowledge; this was on the condition that the park would be willed to the Ministry on Chaos’ death. With this matter settled, the Ministry began work planning how the space would be used, and finding sources for the park’s insane fleet of roller coasters.
ROLLER COASTERS
Anthem
Manufacturer: In-House
Anthem was a direct collaboration between the Ministry of G-Forces and Dr. Chaos. The decision to feature splitting trains was made in homage to an experimental family coaster that supposedly operated at Whispering Cliffs for a short time. This is “supposed” because no hard evidence of this ride’s existence has been found. Nonetheless Dr. Chaos and others his age INSIST it was real, and they rode it. With no blueprints to go off of, Dr. Chaos took it upon himself to invent a mechanism that would allow trains to safely split and reattach. Each train(s) featured a mechanism called a Remote Timing Drive - or RTD - that set separated trains to a synchronized speed via a gear shift powered by a gyroscope that gets spun by the wheels. These highly specialized trains would consistently reattach so long as they remained in motion.
Due to the ride’s precarious nature, the park faced a maze of red tape before Anthem could legally open to the public. Chaos’ reputation as a mass-murderer did not help the situation. Eventually the Ministry negotiated a compromise that would allow Anthem to open alongside the rest of the park: it could accept riders provided an independent safety inspector is kept on-site to conduct hourly inspections of the trains. The RTDs have yet to fail even once.
Nightsqueak
Manufacturer: Filbert Engineering
The last remaining Filbert Sleighride. This once-extinct model was a unique take on the Flying Turns rides that were popular at the time. It featured an elevator lift and a brief section of steel suspended track before dumping riders into the actual bobsled part. Unfortunately, this is not the Sleighride that operated at Whispering Cliffs; that one succumbed to the same excessive parts wear that killed all the others. This one was found in questionable condition inside an abandoned storage warehouse. Following a brief bidding war, Dr. Chaos had it shipped to Chaos Cliffs, where the Ministry poured over old maintenance reports, then had all known fracture-points reinforced with modern building materials.
Amongst the parts, the iconic tower that held up the ride’s suspended helix was considered too heavily decayed to safely support the track. In a moment of improvisation, the decision was made to attach the helix to the abandoned lighthouse that the park also owned. This turned out to work in the ride’s favor, as flexing of the original steel towers was the cause of many snapped bolts. State safety inspectors, however, did not like this one bit. One of them infamously said during the planning phase, “If you move this thing one inch closer to the ocean I’m canceling this entire project!”


Although the model’s fatal issues have been fixed, Nightsqueak remains a maintenance nightmare; not that you would notice if you visited, though. The park is committed to running it at its three-train operating limit at all costs. This is possible thanks to a special rank within maintenance known as the Nightsqueak Division, whose job is to fabricate and install new wood and steel parts whenever the ride breaks them.
The Hit
Manufacturer: Fabric Group Rides
There was quite an uproar when a Ministry member found it for sale on a used ride website. These old Water Jumpers are getting scarcer by the year. The park also happened to need a small coaster that would accommodate younger riders. The original vehicles were not included in the transaction, as they were totaled after a previous owner tried to save money by running it without water. New vehicles had to be custom made, which ended up costing way more than the rest of the ride. Unfortunately, all documentation and serialized parts were either missing or heavily defaced, making it impossible to trace it back through all the third-world shitholes it operated in.
SatorotaS
Manufacturer: Presentation Rides
Park officials wanted a launching coaster to give the park a splash of modernity. Satorotas was purchased as a custom layout that was originally going to a different park. Expensive landscaping and support work had to be done to make it fit. The ride would also be themed to a certain time travel film that flopped at the box office.
Once it was installed and the manufacturer signed off on it, the park went rogue and performed an unauthorized modification. The track enclosing the last inversion was fitted with LSMs, and the inversion itself became a new element that Ministry calls a
Turnstile. Just as the train is about to return to the station, it gets sent back through the barrel roll two more times. It’s essentially a swing launch, but it’s at the end of the ride. Although this is unconfirmed, it’s believed that park officials were all “on something” when someone floated this idea, and the chuckling that followed did not subside for ten whole minutes.
Thriller
Manufacturer: Schwarzkopf
No one in the general public knew Chaos Cliffs would be getting Thriller. In fact, no one working at the park seemed to know they’d be getting it, either. People returned at the start of the park’s second season to find four big inversions staring down at them from what used to be an empty lot. No one even saw construction taking place during the off season. It was as if it was always there.


To make matters stranger, the park has never candidly advertised that it has this ride. It appears in commercials, it’s in the attractions list; yet it’s never been promoted directly, despite how much it must have cost to get it there. The press was unable to obtain a formal statement from park officials regarding how they obtained Thriller. Showman
Bruch now refuses to even acknowledge its existence. Journalists have reached out to Weiland Schwarzkopf for comment, but received no response.
The most direct acknowledgement came from a covert recording taken in a local bar, where a drunk Ministry member is heard saying, “It’s a traveling coaster. It came HERE! I guess when Chaos passes it’ll go somewhere else.” Although informal and heavily slurred, this vague statement has been a source of confusion, even superstition. While people have attempted to rationalize this man’s words into retroactively making sense, one thing that’s for certain is that Thriller isn’t traveling anytime soon.
Heirloom Express
Manufacturer: C. Sawyer Scenic Railway Company
By sheer luck it dodged demolition for decades on-end, now it’s back up and running. Although technically part of Chaos Cliffs, this ride is located on the Whispering Trail by the cliff edges where the original park was. A contributing factor to it never being removed was its sprawling, tangled track that’s even carved into the terrain in some spots. It would be very difficult to remove it.
The layout is known for being odd, with a pre-lift section at the very edge of the cliffs, a lift hill halfway through the ride, and pacing that trollishly saves the biggest dip for the very end. At the time of its construction the conventions for roller coaster design weren’t so deeply set in stone as they are now. Modern riders are quick to compare the experience to a log flume. The Ministry actually turned to this coaster for inspiration as they penned the layout of Anthem; that ride’s triple-down and turnaround at the end were intentionally put next to Heirloom as a direct homage.
Heirloom Express and Seabird opened after Chaos Cliffs did; the main park helping to pay for the extensive restoration work that needed to be done. Even after the structure has been deemed safe, Nightsqueak Division can still be seen on the wooden catwalks observing how the boards flex as trains go by. During its reopening ceremony Dr. Chaos was asked if he was excited to ride it again, to which he responded, “Actually, they never let me on. I was too little.”


The Weave Manufacturer: Interactive Rides
Nightsqueak Division was spotted raiding an old warehouse in rural Utah by coaster enthusiast fanatics. They were last seen carrying large metal track pieces into the dead of night, seemingly without any vehicles or secondary aid. Soon after, a large dining hall style building was erected on the cliffside, with Nightsqueak and Ministry members seen precariously welding the track together at the building’s base. A large chimney was seemingly reconstructed out of rubble from the old demolitions and used as a structural support and a cantilever. As construction progressed, Dr. Chaos could be seen during brainstorming sessions hunched over YouTube videos with titles like “TOP 10 DEADLIEST THEME PARK RIDES.”
After some quickly resolved headaches with state safety inspectors, The Weave opened to the public. The ride sends guests up and down along an array of sloped tracks. However, half of the tracks are turned ninety degrees, and the vehicles are offset just enough to prevent collision. The cars of each of the two trains are just linked together with extended couplings, but the trains themselves are kept in sync with calibrated catch cars that run on top of the tracks. Despite its appealing ride cycle, The Weave is one of the less popular rides in the park. It strikes abnormal amounts of fear into most guests, who prefer to watch it interact with the cliffside and beach.


Detonator Manufacturer: Intamin
Wanting to blend the modern sections of the park with the sections that have more period and rustic theming, a skyscraper with a brick base and a hollow interior was erected in the center of the park. Intamin was contracted to build a variation of their Giant Drop 4 model inside. However, when inspectors got to the ride, they were horrified to find that the building was seemingly supported by unstable hydraulics and that a multitude of pyrotechnic elements had been incorporated. Dr. Chaos suddenly appeared and told inspectors to “just ride it,” and they were convinced into doing so through methods that are still unknown. One inspector who was reached for comment said that during the ride cycle he felt as if he was being “shot into hell,” yet he had “never felt safer and more confident in a ride’s engineering.” After this incident, the ride was tested and opened to the public.
Riders that board Detonator enjoy construction theming on their ascent before the facade of the building they’re in falls away and they are subjected to an extremely realistic simulation of a building implosion, complete with possibly unrealistic amounts of flames. Most knowledge about the ride’s artistic origins came from a rare press conference in which Dr. Chaos stated that he “likes Tower of Terror” and that “they keep Walt’s head there,” but also that “Detonator takes me back to my roots,” and that “implosion is one of my favorite methods, far less cleanup than exploding.”