Good news for heaven and hell enjoyers: you can now access both heaven and hell FOR FREE in Patriarch Tiamat’s Interdimensional Fun Park!

How did this come to be?
After the true nature of the universe became apparent to her, Patriarch Tiamat wished to no longer participate and leave the universe. She combined modern science with witchcraft, but was unable to find a way to leave the universe. However, she was able to gain early access to a few chapters of the afterlife. Seeing the potential of this, she ceased her efforts to leave the universe and build this rather unique amusement park.

What is there to do in heaven?
Currently, not much. Only a very small part of heaven can be accessed. This chapter of heaven seems to have been largely abandoned and isn’t all that interesting. Only a single, slightly overweight angel lives here. We hope to expand our park into different areas of heaven soon. The fat angel says that that is not possible, but we think he is wrong.

What is there to do in hell?
Also not much. We only have access to a chapter of hell that is mostly abandoned. Maybe this area was meant to punish a sin that never saw the light of day. In the early days of Satan’s rebellion, they were planning to introduce a lot more different types of sin than we actually ended up having. We hope to expand our park into different areas of hell soon.

Then why would I come to this park?
There is a very big coaster. Wee. There is also a slightly smaller coaster. Wee.

Is the park free to enter?
No, it actually costs five money to enter the park. We know we wrote “FOR FREE” in the introductory part earlier, but we were deceiving you. People infected with the woke mind virus say that lying is wrong; but in our opinion, telling lies is a valid rhetorical technique: it is the way of the fathers. People would never learn to think for themselves if they were never told any lies. I mean - did you seriously think you could get in for free? Grow the hell up!